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The Dark Becomes The Light

by The Cellophane Heart

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1.
Hemo 03:19
Man overboard She cut the cord Makes this decision all alone... The night fell slow And you had to go You didn't know that she'd be gone... You're bleeding from the inside You're bleeding from the inside out I walked outside in a silent scream Awake and floating in this scene... I saw you standing on the street And whereupon our eyes did meet. But you didn't know me.... Still bleeding from the inside Still bleeding from the inside out Man overboard She cut the cord Makes this decision all alone... Man overboard She cut the cord Makes this decision all alone...
2.
Everyone wants a little piece of my soul Everyone wants a little piece of my soul I try so hard not to let go I try so hard not to let go But everyone wants a little piece of my soul I give up, I'm let down I find myself on the ground Not knowing which way is up Or how I got this far down I feel drained and in pain And it's raining again in my face While I lie here my soul is erased Can you hear me? Cause I'm fucking screaming Can you feel me? Or was I even here? Are you ready? Cause I'm fucking coming clean I'll get this shit off my chest even if it kills you and me Everyone wants a little piece of my soul Everyone wants a little piece of my soul I tried so hard not to let go I tried so hard not to let go But everyone wants a little piece of my soul Everyone wants a little piece of my soul I close my eyes and pretend That it's all over again That the elevator's closing And it's time to descend All the way to the bottom With the others forgotten Hollow memories of the goods turning rotten Can you hear me? Cause I'm fucking screaming Can you feel me? Or was I even here? Are you ready? Cause I'm fucking coming clean I'll get this shit off my chest even if it kills you and me Everyone wants a little piece of my soul Everyone wants a little piece of my soul Everyone wants a little piece of my soul Everyone wants a little piece of my soul
3.
"Your art...it will kill you," That's what she said. "But if that's not really living dear, I'd rather be dead." All alone in pursuit I feel the weight and distress All from my own persecution To not be like the rest "Your art will kill you," she said. "Your art it will kill you my friend." I met a man who once told me A tale of regrets He led a lifetime of crime That could have better been spent And one day while at home While he was lying in bed His life had changed in a flash Like someone pushed his reset "Your art will kill you," he said "Your art it will kill you my friend." "Your art will kill you," he said "Your art it should kill you my friend." In pursuit of the knowledge I've been turning the key I've been trying to see What's been locked inside of me With a passion that burns And massive need to express I might explode like a star Or disappear like the rest... Your art will kill you my friend Imitating life and pretend The justified and means to your end Your art it should kill you again Your art would kill you I bet Your art it should kill you my friend Your art it will kill you my friend Imitating life and pretend The justified and means to your end Your art it should kill you again Your art it will kill you my friend Imitating life and pretend The justified and means to your end Your art it should kill you again Your art would kill you I bet Your art it should kill you my friend
4.
Devilish 02:45
The top 5 things on my mind this time Are how you can do what you do and still drive me wild ...it all starts with a smile... ...and devilish as it may be I'm guilty of loving you The only thing that I'm guilty of is loving you And devilish as it may be I'm guilty of loving you The only thing that I'm guilty of is loving you ...and devilish as it may be.... The top 5 things on my mind Are how you can do what you do and still drive me wild ...it all starts with a smile... ...and devilish as it may be I'm guilty of loving you The only thing that I'm guilty of is loving you And devilish as it may be I'm guilty of loving you The only thing that I'm guilty of is loving you ...and devilish as it may be.... ...and devilish as it may be....
5.
Feels like the beat in my heart has sprung to life This doesn't feel right, it's awful and a horrible sight... All of the things that can scare you exist below the light Now the surrounding is dark To have the courage, will I... ...Fight for convictions now Your convictions now. I wanna say that it's ok to feel the way you do but I Can't help the way this fire chooses how to burn me till I die I wanna say that it's ok and we come out of this unchanged Look at each other with a sad smile and we'd know it was the same But are we better off this way? We could do it all again The pleasure and the pain Experienced again We are in love We are the same We are in love, we are the same We are in love, we are the same Feels like this endless darkness is hiding the light Its cold embracing me slowly as I give up the fight Whatever we had will end It will die and it will rise again Whatever you wanted to see Would run away and it would hide from me However complex the mend It will die and it will rise again The pleasure and the pain Twisting through our veins Forgetting both our names We are in love, we are the same We are in love, we are the same We are in love, we are the same We are the same But are we better off this way? Experienced again The pleasure and the pain Experienced again We are in love, we are the same We are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same, we are in love, we are the same We are the same We're all the same WE'RE ALL THE SAME!
6.
Silent 03:43
"Can't stop the yelling in my head," she said, "It's complicated..." "I'd rather that than just be dead." You see? I tried explaining to her That the rest could be easy We could leave this place and just try to forget where we're from I know the rest could be easy We could leave this place and just deal with the rest as it comes "I can't forget the things they said," she said, "It's complicated..." "They're only real inside your head." You see? I tried explaining to her... That the voices were silent We could leave this place and just try to avoid all the violence That the voices were silent We could leave this place in a hurry and just try to hide And just try to hide And the rest could be easy We could leave this place and just try to forget where we're from I know the rest could be easy We could leave this place and just deal with the rest as it comes "Can't stop the yelling in my head," she said, "It's complicated..." "My darling, did you take your meds?" You see? I tried explaining to her... That the shadows were silent We could leave this place and just try to control all the violence That the shadows were silent We could leave this place and just try to find ourselves some new guidance "I can't keep track of what I've said," she said, "It's complicated..." "Fight the war right inside your head." You see? I tried explaining to her That her voice has been silent We could place, catch a ride and we could leave it behind us That the voices were silent We could leave this place in a hurry and just try to hide And the rest could be easy And the rest could be easy And the rest could be easy We could leave this place in a hurry and just try to hide
7.
Dogs 02:55
Mmmmmmmm...ooooo What do we have here? This looks nice.... I found a dirty little hole and it's right where I want to stay Hiding inside where it's dark and in perfect decay Oooooooo Look at this place It's a dirty little hole There's blood on face as I stay in through the rain I can feel all my insides try to leave me again But escape is so close and I won't go away Back to the pen or back to anywhere they want me to stay I am free, and if they catch me they'll crucify me So I run through the night and I hide in the trees I hear leaves crunching underneath all of the feet Of the dogs getting closer to the smell of my meat There is no reason to risk, give my position away I've been holding my breath for what feels like a day But escape is so close that I can go through the pain To avoid getting dragged back all the way through the rain I am free, and if they catch me they'll crucify me So I run through the night and I hide in the trees I hear my heartbeat become a second version of me As the dogs continue closer to the smell of my meat As the dogs continue closer to the smell of my meat As the dogs continue closer to the smell of my meat As the dogs continue closer to the smell of my meat As the dogs continue closer to the smell of my meat Oh yeah
8.
(from original voice-mails the vagina that birthed me left on my phone) "I'm trying to locate your grandmother who seems to be lost somewhere in West Vancouver so if you hear from her would you please do the courtesy of giving me a call? Seriously, courtesy Jeremy that's all it is. Thank you." "Hello Jeremy, it's your mother...you remember me I'm sure. I'm just sitting on my porch in the nice weather, oooh, watching the deer go over to my picnic place. Doing pretty good over here...so I just thought I'd call and say that. Doing just fine thank you very much and...uh...hope you like it! Love ya! Buh-bye!" "Good heavens Jeremy...you can't answer the phone to say hello? (heavvvvvvvvvvvy sigh) It isn't supposed to be this way. So. You can run, you can hide, you can ignore, you can do whatever you want...however...I will be coming to see you in the next couple weeks. And I want you to tell me to my face. Tell me to my face and we're done...ok? I really don't understand what you're doing...but I love you anyway. Bye for now." "Hello Jeremy, it's your mother...yep, yep...I am STILL your mother. Just...uh...wanting to say hi and I cannot...fathom why you wouldn't want to just say hi. So....ummm....THINK about it. I just want to know if you're happy. Cause I love you. So, if you can manage to do that, that would be appreciated. Thanks so much, buh-bye." "Ok Jeremy, I give up. I love you." "Gladstone......mini-Gladstone.....this is Shirley. I understand that you have nothing...nothing of interest for me...and uh...it's gone vice-versa. Honest to God that's something I never thought I'd ever say. YOU'RE NOT MY SON. You're Marc's son. And that's unfortunate. So...if your wife doesn't know about your abortions or your mother in law doesn't know about that or whatever else it is that you're trying to hide that you wanna put on me, you go ahead. You own that. I will be there Saturday and I will be picking up my stuff. And I want you to block my number cause I don't ever, and I mean EVER...want to hear from you again."
9.
You've been busy You've been busy Living in your headspace While I've been missing out Been missing out....and been replaced I could ask, "Why did this happen?" and "Why did this happen?" and "Why did this happen to me?" But the rest doesn't matter The rest doesn't matter The rest, it doesn't matter to me We all rebuild. Oh my you've been busy You've been busy Living out your life While I've been missing out Been missing out on the highlights I could ask, "Why did this happen?" and "Why did this happen?" and "Why did this happen to me?" But the rest doesn't matter The rest doesn't matter The rest, it doesn't matter to me The rest doesn't matter The rest doesn't matter The rest, it doesn't matter to me You've lost your hold on me You don't matter, anymore
10.
I stepped outside of myself Went for a walk in the streetlights I like the quiet and I like the alone... But still around every corner I know that I'm, I'm hoping that I might see you And every single little shadow I see Is comforting me, like I'm right beside you All I wanted was to see you again Outside in the night with the streetlights "I like the quiet when I'm with you alone," she said Then a tear fell from the crack of her eye And I, I reached out to catch it quickly When I looked back at my hands they were empty As I was when you'd met me once before We met nearly four years ago Underneath these very streetlights Snow falling and quiet and we were alone And for a moment I lost track of the time And I, I could no longer see you with me Another moment you were taken away And part of me, it went away with you... But if I close my eyes real tight I can, I can still see you beside me And when the daylight breaks my eyelids I'll, I'll still know you always loved me It feels like another lifetime ago Before they put up the streetlights Before the quiet and you had found me alone When I was waiting for you.... Now when I walk outside it's quiet And I, I look but I can't find you It's a beautiful reminder of the time When I first laid my eyes on you But now the lights are off and I am alone. But now the lights are off and I am alone.
11.
Self-Worth 02:40
When all is said and done You looked at me and said "Well that was kinda fun, and yeah, I don't regret it yet." But the sun has not come up And we're right still here in bed We're lying to each other now While lying in this bed When all is said and done Will you remember this? Will you hear this song at night And remember when we kissed? I loved you all along But to you I just mean shit When all is done and gone Was I ever a part of it? Or you? Ever a part of it? Was I ever a part of it? A part of it for you? Was I ever a part of it? A part of it for you?
12.
Ted led me down the stairs again He wants to show me all about the things about his new invention And I've tried to understand his work....oh yeah The machines go in... The machines go out... And they all make sounds That I don't understand I really don't understand a single thing But Ted's maniacal laughter seemed so oddly soothing A bolt of red flame and the game is fully fucking on All the pieces remain but the people that have made them are far gone The machines go in... The machines go out... And they all make sounds That I don't understand I've been blinded by good ol' Ted's technology And my ocular perception has adjusted...but I'm not suffering I can see things in colours now that I didn't know could be But will this end me or is this my reality? The machines go in... The machines go out... And my brain goes down As they all make sounds They make sounds They all...they make sounds They make sounds They all...they make sounds They make sounds They all...they make sounds They make sounds That I don't understand They make so much sound These colours Ted and I have found They make so much sound These colours Ted and I have found
13.
I wanted to go away but I wanted to let you in I wanted to close my eyes and find you climbed within These dreams I have of you They....they will not stop But when I open up my eyes I'm missing you in all my thoughts But still I I can try Try to get you in here deep inside Of my mind Where I hide But I'll get there soon if you give me time I'm looking through into the best of you tonight Where your love's been my life support Like oxygen to fire I wanted to say something but it had to come from you Where my words would fail me I'd prefer the ones you choose I wanted to let you in to love me even more But after all this time what if I find I've said it all before? But still I I can try Try to get you in on the inside Of my mind Where I find We are not yet fully oxidized I'm looking through into the best years of our life Where we're old and on the porch And your hand's still in mine I wanted to breathe your air and to walk in both your shoes I wanted to be on your mind and define myself with you The way I miss you never stops to make me think about Just why I wrote this song for you A tattoo in music ink For you I I will try I'll try to fix the broken parts inside Of my mind Where you smile And when it settles maybe we can hang for a while We can hang for a while Yeah, we can hang for a while We can hang for a while Yeah we can hang for a while Cause you define my life You have turned my darkness into light Cause you define my life You have turned my darkness into light
14.
Milquetoast 05:16
It was Wednesday afternoon when you said goodbye I wish that I had said what I needed to say instead of push it aside But the sun is shining bright, despite the rain that falls inside Of my mind's eye, where talking to you, it doesn't feel like a lie But I couldn't tell that you held on to them so well I couldn't think enough to speak My brain is dumb My heart is weak And my impending doom, it feels like a lie I wish that I could hand over the wheel and trust you to drive You whisper softly now but I cannot remember how These words had used to sound when you would speak aloud And not just in my mind I couldn't say anything....anything to make you stay I couldn't save enough of my face So here I come in second place And in my room alone I wait here to die I wish the sun, it would start to come out Cause it's raining inside of me And your image will appear if the weather becomes clear It can feel like you were just right here with me When I just close my eyes.... I couldn't tell...no I couldn't function all that well All the things that you would say....the zero difference they would make I blew up all our plans so you'd say goodbye Now I'm back at the start and still healing my heart And still wondering why I can feel you in the walls I get the chills and start to call aloud your name But nothing will change Cause you, you're just in my mind Adjusting my mind I'm living my life on my own now that you've said goodbye I'm wondering if...if my heart it will break, or am I gonna die? Cause I thought that we would be unbreakable as two could be I thought that we could see the way through all of this insanity I couldn't tell, no I couldn't function all that well Could not believe all of these things you'd say to me Your love's like a warning Your love's like a warning
15.
You don't have to worry about a thing Cause I'll be your knight in shining armor And I'll save you in the end We'll rule the couch like queen and king The remote control is ordering and changing up our universe tonight I see your smile still sparkling I watch you stumble in the dark But you fall towards me, so it's ok... I reach out with my hands to catch you But I don't really have a plan and we tumble down connected We tumble down connected, yeah
16.
Slipping quietly underneath my feelings for you With isolated ice-cold veins, you'll do what you have to do And you know that it's true...oh You know that it's true I've arranged to leave by train but leave my heart with you I must be crazy to feel this way if I mean nothing to you But oh I want to... I think about you at night I think about you all the time I think about the way that you and I were side by side We were side by side... Together you and I We were side by side Together you and I We were side by side Yeah we were side by side Together you and I We once found a way to survive You and I We once found a way to survive We were side by side Yeah we were side by side We were side by side
17.
Captivated 03:10
Meet me after it's dark We'll take the car for a ride and we'll put it in park And when the sun comes to wake us again We'll stay here in the car until it turns into rain Cause I'm still dreaming of you And you... You'll always captivate me I can't catch my breath No, I can't even breathe I'm calling you back, can you just understand I'm walking the line that I've drawn in the sand All steps towards me, getting you back I'm counting on you to be doing the math This one and one make two And you... You'll never see me divided I'm ten times the person for having met you I gave you a rose one day I kissed your face while we were both standing out in the rain I didn't expect anything But the tone in your voice told me that it was safe And now I don't have to dream And you... You have helped me to see You've always been there beside me And always will be You always will be You always will be You always will be You always will be
18.
I caught a wave and I got carried away And chances are, I belong out here Don't send a search party, I won't send them away I bring the party to the place right here But if I miss you I'll be sending a plane And you can catch a ride over here So send a search party cause you're not coming home After the party we can disappear I caught a wave and I got carried away And chances are, I belong out here Don't send a search party unless you want them to stay They'll wanna party if they find us here But I would miss you so I'm sending a train Then you can catch a ride over here So send a search party but you're not going home You bring the party to this atmosphere Search Party! I caught a wave and I got carried away And chances are I belong out here Don't send a search party cause I'm planning to stay With you alone here in this atmosphere And call me crazy but if this is the way That life could be then I'll exist right here So send a search party and we'll show them the way To put the party in this atmosphere
19.
I'm not that special So ordinary... I've lost my direction...please come back to me I messed around And where I was lost I could be found I was hiding from you But I knew... And I knew you could see right through I learned that it's okay If you want to see me that way And I will stay right here with you as we both change I want to tell you every single thing But I don't know just where to start it's frightening... And after all These things I say they may seem small But if you only knew, what I knew... And the effect they have on you You would run away You wouldn't want to see me that way There is something wrong inside me I can't change I'm not unique I'm just ordinary So plain, I am boring Unnecessary I'm not that special I'm ordinary No super, I'm no hero I just can't save me But if you can understand and form a plan I'll be running with you No stopping me, no stopping you And we'll run away And no matter what they say We can escape from our despair We'll be okay And we'll run away And no matter what they say We can escape from our despair We'll be okay And now that I can breathe The world is calling out to me Now that I can breathe The world is calling out to me Now that I can breathe The world is calling out to me And there's no looking back It's in the past for me Unnecessary I'm not complex I'm just ordinary I've been afraid of life And I've been suffering My voice is strong and echoing And my words are coming back to rescue me Oh yes I am free To perceive reality like dreams I nearly lost myself in you But now I'm free But now I'm free But now I'm free But now I'm free
20.
I wanted to go away but I wanted to let you in I wanted to close my eyes and find you climbed within These dreams I have of you They, they will not stop When I open up my eyes I'm missing you in all my thoughts But still I I can try Try to get you in here deep inside Of my mind Where I hide But I'll get there soon if you give me time I'm looking through into the best of you tonight Where your love's my life support Like oxygen to fire I wanted to say something but it had to come from you Where my words would fail me I'd prefer the ones you choose I wanted to let you in to love me even more But after all this time what if I find I've said it all before But still I I can try Try to get you on the inside Of my mind Where I hide But we're not yet fully oxidized I'm looking through into the best of you tonight Where your love's my life support Like oxygen to fire I wanted to breathe your air and walk right in your shoes I wanted to be on your mind and define myself with you The way you move me never stops to make me think About just why I wrote this song for you A tattoo in music ink For you I I will try I'll try to fix the broken parts inside Of my mind Where you smile And when it settles maybe we can hang for a while We can hang for a while We, oh we, we can hang for a while You define my life You have turned my darkness into light You define my life You have turned my darkness into light

about

The Dark Becomes The Light - the debut solo album from Jer @ SBS in his new project The Cellophane Heart.

Dealing largely with the processing of emotional stimulation, both positive and negative, this 2-sided album is laid out semi-autobiographically.

I've been in the dark for far too long....my mind is a series of cobwebs and clutter. Memories drift in and out of my mind constantly during consciousness and the past makes itself known to me as familiar as the present. But there's a light of hope...always...that I can break away from it all and become the best version of myself somehow.

I suppose that's what this is all about.

credits

released May 1, 2014

100% DIY, recorded here in the comfort of good ol' sleepingbagstudios

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about

The Cellophane Heart Abbotsford, British Columbia

Solo and DIY for the first time in over 5 years, Jer @ SBS from sleepingbagstudios has found a comfortable home in this new project, The Cellophane Heart.

A mixture of electronic-based music infused with rock...at least for this album. He believes in trying anything and everything, so who knows what this project will sound like in the future. The possibilities are limitless.
... more

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